Wednesday, August 15, 2007

How The Website "digg.com" Works


Digg.com: A news website created by some ass-hole, Kevin Rose, to take control of the interweb. It is user-moderated so terrorists can join the fun from the comforts of their own living room.

Why you need to know this: Of all the websites on the Internet, this one comes in at #6

This website is full of people similar to the ones you find at Wal-Mart only louder and with more confidence. News articles about stupid things such as the iPhone's new-found ability to skip across floors when thrown are rated as "dugg" or "buried". After one "votes" on the said article, they are inclined to write a comment and submit it. True "diggers" usually stay around the article for awhile and bitch at other people who are leaving comments. After this ritual, they click the link and read the article. This can go on all day or until the user has to leave work.
Many people feel the need to submit many articles in the hopes to get as many articles of theirs on the coveted "front" "page". Once on the "front" "page" it is seen by about a frillion people and usually accumulates a lot of "diggs" or positive votes. Digg.com then tallys all the "diggs" your submitted articles received and hold an annual Best Digger of the Year banquet to which they hand out awards to people with the highest scores. The battle to receive the highest scores are pretty fierce seeing as whoever receives such an award is bombarded by chicks for life. Girls love that sorta thing.
Digg.com also has a darker side to it. Due to the enormous amount of "electronic traffic" resulting from an article hitting the "front" "page", the server that is hosting the article usually gets up, marches straight to the bosses' office, and urinates on the desk before leaving the building. This is called the "digg effect". It can easily be identified when clicking a link because you receive some error rather than the desired article. Terrorist use this phenomenon to crash American servers. They usually accomplish this by posting some article about "How the Apple iPhone can display a picture of a Nintendo Wii found on Google perfectly" on the server they want to crash along with a little "digg" button conveniently place for lazy people. People go ape-shit over stuff like that.