Cellphone: a long-range, portable electronic device used for mobile communication. (wikipedia.org)
Why you need to know this: When you're not near the city and you need to harass your friends, it helps to know how to get more bars.
Explanation: Cell phones, as you know, work great when you're near a major city, but why do they start crapping out as you venture further and further into Missouri? The obvious reason is that your "friends" really don't want to hear what you have to say. The scientific reason though, isn't much different. You see, your phone needs to connect to what's call a "tower". It has to do this without wires so the best way of doing this is to employ illegal immigrants. Phone companies are all about saving the Benjamins and immigrants will work for the Washingtons. As your digital signal dwindles down to nothing, immigrants start moving in on your conversation. They over hear what you're saying and pass it down to the next immigrant (usually about a block's length away) until it gets to an immigrant that's close enough to these "towers" to call it in. Skeptics of technology question this saying, "Would the Mexicans have to do this really fast?" After months of testing the answer is yes. They do go very fast but I don't recall saying they were Mexican.
This is why when you get out of range on your cell phone, it's really hard to understand people. It's also why you can't send sophisticated things like pictures or text messages while too far out in the boonies. It helps to speak a different language too.
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